Cycles of Mass Destruction
by MoodyJenny86
Summary: Tristan Milligan is about to self-destruct and his boyfriend Miles Hollingsworth is self-destructive in nature. Together this creates an atomic bomb that is about to drop. Warnings: Eating Disorder. Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.


**Cycles of Mass Destruction**

Miles was so focused on his game that he barely ackowledged the doorbell ring. He paused the game and jumped up to answer the door. On the other side stood his cheerful blonde boyfriend- who was incredibly eager to see him.

"Oh my god-" began Tristan, as he walked inside and grabbed his boyfriend by the wrists. "I have to tell you what Maya did-"

Miles was grinning- as he naturally did whenever he was with Tristan- but suddenly it faltered.

"Tris- can we not talk about Maya? Sorry but she's kind of a mood killer..."

"_Alright_..." replied Tristan warily. "Fine."

Miles smirked.

"But if you really want to tell me...then go ahead."

"She totally ratted me out to Mr. Simpson when I ditched chem to meet up with you yesterday. He told me that my lack of _focus _is cause for concern and he thinks my parents should be involved. Uh! Can you believe her? We aren't even friends anymore and she still has to stick her nose in my business and continue to ruin my life!"

Tristan continued rattling on as he followed Miles into the living room where Miles sat down and resumed his game.

"_Great_," began Tristan with mock enthusiasum. "I can't wait to sit here and watch you and Winston play another dumb shooting game. Speaking of Winston- how much longer do we have until he gets here?"

"Sorry Tris- I just want to finish this mission and get to a saving point. And Winston isn't coming over...I didn't invite him."

Tristan raised an eyebrow.

Miles looked away from his game to lock eyes with his boyfriend.

"We have the whole house to ourselves...no one to bother us...or _interrupt_ us..."

Tristan hooked his arm through Miles' and scooted closer to him.

"Why Miles Hollingsworth the third...who knew you could be so..._sauve_?"

Miles turned off his game.

"What can I say? I'm a natural."

Miles leaned in and pressed his lips to Tristan's and wasted no time gently pushing past with his tongue. Miles loved kissing Tristan- who happened to be a much better kisser than Zoe, Maya or any other girl he had ever kissed. His heart pounded in his chest and he could already feel his pants begin to tighten. He was so incredibly attracted to Tristan and he could never wait to get a taste of his full lips.

The kiss started nice and slow as their tongues gently moved against each other. Miles broke it off with a soft smack and observed his boyfriend- who's eyes were still closed and his lips pinkened more than normal due to the kissing.

"_Wow_-" replied the blonde as he released his breath.

Miles went back in for more only this time harder- with more force. He hungrily invaded the blonde's mouth with his tongue. Tristan settled comfortably on his back and- without breaking the kiss- Miles slithered on top of him and things quickly began to get hot and heavy.

Miles grinned as he felt Tristan's excitement begin to grow. He reached down and cupped his bulge.

Tristan broke the kiss and gasped.

"_Miles_-" he exclaimed with surprise.

"Tell me to stop and I will."

Tristan didn't even process the statement and instead wrapped a hand around Miles' neck and pulled him down for more kisses.

"_Don't. Ever. Stop_," he replied between kisses.

Tristan moaned as the kiss deepened.

After endless minutes of their make out session ticked by, Miles began kissing a trail down Tristan's neck, sucking gently on the tender skin and tugging at his ear lobes.

"Just..._no hickey's_- okay?" pleaded Tristan.

"I want everyone to know you're mine."

"Miles _I'm serious_...my mom just about killed me when she saw the last ones you left on me."

Miles ignored him and slipped his hands underneath his shirt and began to brush his fingertips up and down his chest until he stopped at his nipples and began to twist them- gently at first and then he tugged harder.

"_Ow_!"

"Sorry-"

"It's okay...it still felt kind of good," replied Tristan.

Miles allowed his hands to flutter down to Tristan's belt as he quickly unbuckled it.

Tristan suddenly grabbed hold of his boyfriend's wrists as he bit his lip.

"Miles are you sure you're ready? I don't want to rush things and if you're not ready I totally understand..."

"Of course I'm ready, Tris. You're so hot...I mean, the kissing is awesome but I _want more_."

"_Good_," agreed Tristan with relief. "Me too."

They continued kissing and Miles swiftly tossed Tristan's belt aside, unzipped his pants and slid his hand inside the other boy's briefs to grab hold of his swollen member.

Tristan gasped as the brunette began to handle his pulsating boner. Miles gently motioned his hand up and down his shaft and then stopped. He grinned at Tristan and went in to kiss him but quickly pulled away.

"Quit being such a tease!" snapped Tristan.

Miles raised an eyebrow.

"But it's so fun to tease you."

Miles flicked his tongue against Tristan's jawline and began to stroke his cock once again, slowly at first and then faster- Tristan's mouth opened with surprise which quickly broke into a huge grin.

"Are you sure you haven't done this before?" he questioned.

Miles said nothing as he finally took Tristan's cock in his mouth.

Tristan gasped as the boy began to work his magic with his tongue. He tightened his grip on the brunette's shoulders and quickly repositioned his hands to grab hold of his hair.

"_Oh god- Miles_..."

The doorbell rang.

"_Fuck_," groaned Tristan. "_Keep going, Miles..._"

Miles' head bobbed up and down more quickly and Tristan began to tug on his hair.

"_Oh-Oh...god you are so good, Miles! Mmm.._" the blonde moaned with pleasure, he bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut.

"_Oh...Miles...I'm going to- I'm so close-"_

Tristan erupted into the brunette's mouth and he released a heavy breath.

For someone who was dating girls up until himself, Miles sure knew how to satisfy a boy. _And he totally swallowed_. Tristan stared at his boyfriend in awe.

"_That. Was. Amazeballs_. Pun totes intended."

The brunette grinned sheepishly, cocky Miles was nowhere to be found.

"I'm glad I could satisfy your needs."

The doorbell rang again.

"So much for not being interrupted," replied Tristan as his heart fell. He just knew it had to be Winston, who was probably wondering why Miles hadn't invited him over to game.

"I ordered pizza," replied Miles, as he stood up and wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his shirt. "I'll be right back."

Tristan felt relief that Winston wouldn't be crashing their party but his stomach revolted at the thought of having to stare at pizza let alone being forced to fight the temptation of having a slice. He absolutely could not afford to even smell it. He wanted to gag. He had been doing so well with his diet and he didn't want to ruin it. Why did Miles have to go and ruin a perfectly good date?

"Hope you're hungry," replied Miles, who had returned with two boxes.

"Two? Really Miles? Who exactly do you think you are feeding here?"

Miles shrugged.

"I figured Frankie and Hunter might like some when they get home."

"Duh. Silly me."

Miles set the boxes down on the coffee table and opened the top lid. Steam was still rising from the freshly cooked pizza and the brunette didn't seem to care as he reached in and brought a slice up to his mouth, devouring it in only a few bites. Some of the cheese slid off and fell into his lap.

"Shit!"

Tristan couldn't help but laugh.

"That's what you get for not waiting, Miles Hollingsworth. So impatient."

"I love these pants..." he replied with disappointment. "I just bought them..."

Tristan placed a hand on Miles' knee.

"Never fear. Take them off and I'll-"

A slight blush met Miles' cheek.

"Wow Tris, already? You want to go again?"

"No silly- I just want to wash them before the stain sets."

"Oh," replied Miles with disappointment. "I figured maybe you wanted to have a turn on me."

Tristan waited as Miles stood up and slipped off his pants. He handed them to the blonde.

"Be careful- make sure you wash them on delicate. The fabric is very-"

"Your pants are safe with me, Miles. Don't worry I will take care of it."

Miles- now clad in only his shirt and boxers, sat back down and began working on his second slice.

When Tristan returned he tossed Miles a pair of sweatpants and sat down beside him.

"Holy cow, does someone have the munchies or what?" Tristan joked as he witnessed his boyfriend devour his third slice.

"_Maybe_," the brunette teased. "Tris, why don't you ever smoke with me? I understand it isn't really your thing but you should try it at least once. It's fun."

"Miles...we've talked about this. I have no desire to smoke pot. If you want to then I can't stop you and after that mess of an intervention..." Tristan paused.

The intervention was still a touchy subject for both of them. It had taken Miles weeks to get over his initial hurt and betrayal toward Tristan, and after the blonde had spent everyday trying so hard to make it up to Miles he grew resentful and bitter; after all, he hadn't even wanted to be involved with the intervention in the first place because he knew Miles would not react well. Eventually, when Tristan had all but given up Miles decided to forgive him and he was okay with that, although it made him wonder if he needed to be harder on Miles and stop coming off like such a door mat. He always gave in to Miles so easily.

"Tris...that is over and done with. Okay? That whole intervention was just ridiculous. _I'm fine_."

"I know but I still worry about you."

"There is nothing to worry about."

Tristan said nothing, staring at his hands which were clasped tightly in his lap.

"Hey Tris?" questioned Miles. "Why aren't you eating? Aren't you hungry?"

_If only Miles knew._

"No actually I'm not..."

"But you didn't eat lunch," noted Miles, trying not to sound as though he were worried.

"I had a big breakfast..." Tristan lied.

Miles stared at his boyfriend but didn't say a word.

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The next day at school Miles was being flaky. He barely said a word to Tristan all day and the blonde wracked his brain trying to go back and think if it had possibly been something he had said or did without realizing?

Miles was so moody and irritable it was almost worse than when he had to deal with Maya and Tori when they were on their periods. He was constantly walking on eggshells and had to carefully orchestrat his words before he actually spoke them in fear of setting Miles off.

Tristan began to wonder if it was all worth it. He truly cared about Miles but he was so heartbroken after their first break up that he didn't think he could go through that again. Tristan shuddered at the memory- He had followed Winston's gaze- it was Miles, who was staring at Maya from across the hallway.

"_Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me you don't have feelings for Maya."_

The words stung him just as sharply as they had the day of their break up.

The bell rang and Tristan slung his backpack over his shoulders and caught sight of Miles rushing toward the door.

"Miles!"

He jogged up to his boyfriend and caught him by the arm.

"Sorry Tris- I've got to go...I promised Winston we would have a 'bro date' since you and I were together yesterday. He was pretty bummed that I didn't invite him over."

Tristan's mouth fell open. He was hurt but he tried not to let it show.

"Oh okay...cool. I get it...you need time with your 'bros' too."

Tristan forced a smile and playfully slugged his boyfriend on the arm.

"Text me later, okay?"

Miles gave him a friendly pat on the back and quickly ran out the door, without even so much as a goodbye.

"What am I his grandpa?" muttered Tristan.

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Tristan woke up the next morning and immediately grabbed his phone, the little light was flashing indicating that he had a text message.

**Miles: **Hey wake up. :) Meet me at the dot before school.

Tristan jumped in the shower and rushed out the door, yelling back at his mom that he had an early study group to attend.

"Hey Tris, I'm glad you made it. Sorry about yesterday...I was in a bad mood and Chewy was bugging me about spending all of my time with you."

"Oh," replied Tristan.

"I ordered you a latte- your favorite. And some donuts."

"Not hungry," replied the blonde.

Miles frowned.

"Did you eat already?"

Tristan didn't even bother to lie.

"No. I'm just not hungry."

"Okay."

They sipped on their lattes barely exchanging more than two words.

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It was lunchtime and Miles and Winston were caught up in a discussion that Tristan blocked out. He was feeling a little light headed from not having eaten but he needed to keep his composure. He could not end up in the hospital again. Firstly, Owen would murder him before he even had a chance to be dismissed and secondly, he didn't want to be weak.

Tristan had been lost in his thoughts when he was brought back after Miles' grip on his forearm tightened.

"Tris?"

The blonde turned to his boyfriend and smiled.

"Sorry- just thinking..."

Winston smirked at Miles as if to say '_see, I told you he was a whack job,'_ but said nothing.

"Tristan are you okay? You haven't said a word and you haven't eaten anything..."

"I'm not hungry," he replied. The response was becoming natural to him. It was automatic. Robotic. He never missed a beat, it was in perfect rhythm.

Miles stared hard at his boyfriend.

"Why does it seem like you are never hungry? You didn't eat breakfast either."

_'Oh so you mean you actually noticed?' _He thought.

"I'm fine, Miles. I'm just not hungry."

Miles exchanged looks with Winston.

"What's wrong, Tris?"

"Nothing. It's nothing."

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They ended up back at Tristan's house after school for a change of pace. Tristan's parents were both out for the evening so they had the entire place to themselves.

They were watching some mindless television, laughing and simply enjoying each other's company when Miles placed his hand on Tristan's inner thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Their eyes did all the talking as they stared fiercly at each other- waiting to see if the other was going to make the first move. Miles quickly snatched the remote and fumbled with it as it fell from his grasp, and clicked off the t.v.

Tristan could feel a hot make out session coming on so he scooched back and layed down to be more comfortable. Miles began to crawl across Tristan's bed, pushing blankets aside to make for more room. Neither boy could contain their grins and began to giggle.

Once Miles reached his boyfriend he swung one leg over Tristan so that he was in an upright position straddling his waist.

"I've got you right where I want you," he mumbled as he leaned down to place a kiss on Tristan's blushing cheek. Miles' warm breath on Tristan's skin sent shivers down his spine and the butterflies in his stomach began to flutter incessantly.

Tristan drew in a sharp breath. Miles hadn't even touched him yet! And he didn't need to, simply the way the brunette looked at him when they were alone was enough to make his hormones go full speed.

Miles leaned down and pressed his lips to Tristan's, his tongue immediately invaded his mouth and he willingly allowed him entrance. The blonde moaned approvingly as his boyfriend kissed him feverishly. Miles broke the kiss with a wet smack and both boys were gasping for breath.

"God I love kissing you, Tris."

"Likewise..."

"Listen- I really appreciate what you said before about not rushing things if I wasn't ready. I mean- don't take this the wrong way but this is all new to me. I told you it was weird...but _good_ weird. I have never felt this way about another guy before and it doesn't scare me or anything but I am still you know, dealing with it. I don't care what people think- I just know that I like you and I'm so worried I'm going to screw things up even worse than I already have-"

"Miles? You're rambling."

"Tris- I just want you to know that I'm a virgin. I've never even slept with a girl before."

"Miles. Please- just shut up and kiss me."

Miles laughed.

"Gladly."

Miles resumed their make out session which lasted for another twenty minutes and Tristan couldn't help but be slightly disappointed that it didn't escalate any further. There was no groping or blow jobs involved, but Tristan was happy with whatever he got.

In the back of his mind he was still waiting on Miles to one day come to the realization that this _thing_ with him was just a _phase_ and that he didn't know what on earth he was thinking. Tristan hated to think like this but he couldn't help it. Everything with Miles was so unexpected and _a dream come true _to him and he couldn't bare to think that none of it was ever truly real.

For now he decided to be in the moment and enjoy every second of it.

"Are you hungry? I could make you something?" offered Tristan, as he gently pushed Miles off of him and slid off the bed.

Miles gazed deeply at Tristan and licked his lips.

"_I'm always hungry_," he hissed as he grabbed Tristan by the collar of his shirt and pulled him toward him. He immediately went in for more kisses but the blonde gently backed away with a blush.

"Miles _I'm serious_. As much as I love kissing, you should probably go soon...my parents will be home in a couple of hours."

"How about we go out to eat?" suggested Miles. "Anywhere you want."

"Umm I'd love to Miles but I've got some homework to finish up and then I-"

"If you don't want to just save yourself the time and say no," replied Miles.

"Sorry- maybe another time."

"Alright. I better go. See you tomorrow."

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The next day at school Miles was a no show.

Tristan had been texting him all day with no response. He pulled up Facerange to see if Miles had posted anything, which he hadn't.

"Have you heard from Miles?" he asked Winston, who was passing by in the hall.

"No. Why? Has he fallen off the face of the earth again?"

"He's not answering me...I'm worried because he always texts back."

"Well, dude...maybe he's trying to tell you something?"

Tristan glared at Winston. If he and Miles weren't involved then he and Winston wouldn't even talk to each other. Miles was the only thing that they had in common.

"Thanks for the _wonderful_ dose of enthusiasum, Winston."

Winston shrugged.

"You asked, dude."

Frankie was coming toward them.

"Is Miles okay? Is he sick or just skipping?"

"What do you think?" she asked.

Tristan watched as Frankie and Winston walked away hand in hand.

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Later that evening Tristan debated on whether or not to stop by the Hollingsworth residence. He worried about coming off desperate but he supposed that he had already ruined that by the sushi/oragami grand gesture.

He sighed. So many thoughts entered his mind.

What if Miles really was sick- in which he would feel awful for being upset that he was ignoring him. But what if Miles needed him? Tristan quickly decided that he needed to go over there.

He made his way up the walk to the Hollingsworth mansion and rang the doorbell.

A moment later the door opened and Miles' mother smiled at him- one that looked rather forced in his opinion.

"_Who is it dear_?" Mr. Hollingsworth called from inside the house.

"Oh it is Miles' _friend_...Tristan."

"Hello Mrs. Hollingsworth. Miles wasn't at school today and I just wanted to check on him and bring him his homework."

"I'm sorry Tristan, but Miles isn't home. I will tell him you stopped by."

Tristan's heart sank.

"Thank you."

Mrs. Hollingsworth gently closed the door and Tristan stood on the doorstep, unable to move.

Suddenly he felt anger.

Miles had this way of making Tristan feel like the most important person in the world and then a second later was dropping him like a one night stand. He was tired of it. He deserved better. Didn't he? He really cared for Miles but he was treating him like garbage lately.

When Tristan got home he decided that he was going to end things with Miles before he could hurt him anymore.

000000

The next day Miles knew Tristan was pissed. He ignored all of his texts, Facerange messages and would not even look at him. His plan was to woo Tristan back during lunch but was disappointed to see that he had skipped out.

"Tristan! Wait up! Please?"

The brunette pushed past the crowd of kids all walking out the door. He grabbed Tristan by the wrist and brought him to a halt.

"Tris- just listen to me- let me explain."

"_NO_. No Miles. I am so done. I have had it with you and your shadiness. If you are tired of me and are so over _being with a boy_ then you have done a good job of letting me know. I hear you loud and clear. Once again, sayanora Miles Hollingsworth."

"No. Tris-"

"Let go of me. _Now_."

"I was at the ravine!" blurted Miles. "I'm sorry- my mom told me you stopped by yesterday..."

Tristan's eyebrows shot up dangerously and rather than look relieved he was even more angered.

"And I'm supposed to be okay with this? Everyone knows that you only go the ravine for _certain_ activities..."

"Don't worry, it was just me. I needed to get away. I couldn't be at home anymore..."

Tristan's expression suddenly softened.

"C'mon, let's go to my house so we can talk."

They arrived at Tristan's house where he was surprised to see his older brother Owen rummaging through the fridge.

"Owen?"

"Oh hey Tris," he replied, sticking his head up over the open door- his mouth full of food.

"What are you doing here?"

"I decided to come home for the weekend. What's it to you?"

Tristan rolled his eyes.

"More like you ran out of clean clothes and need mom to do your laundry right?"

"Shut up."

Miles knudged Tristan in the ribs.

"Owen this is Miles- Miles my big bro, Owen."

Miles walked forward and stuck out his hand.

"Tris has mentioned you used to play for the Degrassi basketball team."

"And the football team, and the hockey team and the Ice Hounds..." finished Owen.

"Cool," replied Miles.

"We're going to go up to my room now. See you later."

Tristan pushed Miles ahead of him and turned back in time to see Owen with his back turned and his hands moving up and down his sides, pretending to be kissing someone.

Tristan grabbed a couch pillow and threw it at his brother.

Once they reached his room Tristan closed the door.

"Your bro seems cool."

"Yeah _he is cool_," began Tristan sullenly. "So cool that he barely acknowledged me in school when we attended together."

"That's normal sibling stuff," answered Miles.

"Anyways- tell me more about what happened yesterday. You said you didn't want to be home? What happened? And why did you miss school?"

"I didn't feel like going," replied Miles lamely. "And I just had another fight with my dad...he's been on me so hard lately. I know he's stressed with the campaign but he is never like this with Frankie or Hunter..."

Tristan reached out and lightly touched the brunette's knee.

"Sorry."

"You should know by now my dad is a mood killer," began Miles with a grin. "Speaking of moods I say we _lighten_ it a little bit."

Miles placed one hand behind Tristan's neck and placed the other on his waist and leaned in for a kiss. This kiss was different than the others- it was very soft. It was missing the element of crazy, hot, intense hunger that always expelled from Miles' lips.

Soon enough though the kissing grew more hurried and the next thing they knew Miles was on top of Tristan and their hands were blindly grabbing at each other.

Before they could disperse fast enough Tristan's door opened and Owen was on the other side.

"Hey Tris, mom wants- whoa!"

Miles jumped off of Tristan so quickly that he stubbed his toe on his night stand.

"It's called _KNOCKING_, Owen!"

Owen made a face and put both hands up in defense.

"Mom sent me up to let you know that dinner will be ready in an hour...she wants to know if Miles will be staying to eat with us?"

"I'm not hungry- besides, we aren't staying long. We are going over to Miles' house."

Miles gave his boyfriend a look of confusion because they hadn't discussed such a thing. Plus, Tristan knew that home was the last place he wanted to be right now.

Owen's face fell.

"You haven't fallen back into your old habits have you? Because if I find out-"

"No I haven't Owen. _I'm fine_. Now get out."

Owen watched his brother closely, wondering if he should believe him.

Finally the eldest Milligan brother folded and closed the door behind him.

"What was he talking about, Tris?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Okay," he agreed.

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It was saturday morning and Tristan was still in bed when Owen burst into his room.

"Get up. Your boyfriend is here."

"What?" He reached for his phone to see what time it was. It was 10 a.m. He also saw he had five texts from Miles and one missed call at 9 a.m.

**Miles:** Hey Tris. U awake?

**Miles: **Tris pls- I need 2 talk 2 u.

**Miles:** Tristan?

**Miles:** Can u meet me?

**Miles:** I need u, Tris.

All sent at 11:30 p.m. 12:05 a.m. 12:25 a.m. 12:26 a.m. and finally 2 a.m.

Tristan sat up and stretched as Miles walked into his room.

"Hey- sorry I just showed up here. I had a rough night..."

"I see that," replied Tristan as he held up his phone for Miles to see. "So what happened?"

"I'll give you one guess."

"Your dad?"

"Isn't it always."

"Maybe you should talk to him...when you two aren't fighting. Or talk to your mom?"

"Yeah right, Tris. She doesn't listen. I mean, he treats her like garbage too- he cheated on her. She just wants to ignore everything that is wrong and think we are this perfect little family."

"You can hang out in here...I'm going to shower."

When Tristan came back into his room, Miles was watching t.v.

"Oh- what's under the robe?" Miles teased, as he grabbed the sash and pulled Tristan toward him.

"Not now, Miles-" replied Tristan as he swatted Miles' hands away. "Not with my parents and Owen home. It's too risky..."

"But I like taking risks..."

"_No_," replied Tristan sternly.

It was a good thing he had denied Miles' request because Owen barged in seconds later.

"Mom made breakfast. Come down and eat."

"Tell mom Miles and I are going out for breakfast."

Owen entered the room and shut the door behind him.

"Tris- this needs to stop right now."

"Remind me of _what_ that needs to stop, Owen?"

Owen glared at his younger brother.

"Mom and dad may be able to see through your lies but I don't."

Tristan rolled his eyes.

"Have you been eating?"

"Of course I have!"

Owen quickly directed his attention to Miles.

"Has he been eating?"

Miles quickly glanced at Tristan who watched him- waiting to be ratted out.

"Uh- well I- mean..."

"It's a yes or no answer," barked Owen.

"Not really," answered Miles truthfully.

"I knew it!" exclaimed Owen. "The last time I saw you I knew something was up..."

"Whatever," snapped Tristan.

"I'm telling mom and dad you haven't been eating. This is serious, Tris. I don't want you to end up in the hospital again-"

"Hospital?" questioned Miles, as his head snapped toward his boyfriend.

"It isn't a big deal-" answered Tristan, as he dashed toward Owen before he could leave his room. "Owen- please...please don't talk to mom and dad. _I'm fine_. You are overreacting...can we maybe talk _privately_- you know, when Miles isn't here?"

Owen glared at his brother, his eyes mere slits. He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Fine. But we _will_ talk while I am still here and you are going to come down and eat breakfast right now."

Tristan nodded and waited until Owen left to release his breath.

"What the hell was that all about, Tristan?"

Tristan quickly undid the sash to his robe and got dressed.

"Come on, let's eat so we can get out of here. Now you aren't the only one who doesn't want to be home..."

"No- Tris, seriously...what was that all about?"

"Long story short- it is totally n-b-d b-t-w...last year I went on this cleanse diet. I just wanted to lose a few pounds...and I did. Owen is just being overprotective...which is totally sweet."

Miles stared hard at Tristan.

"What about the hospital?"

"Oh that...well- that was totally not even related to my stupid diet. So I don't know where Owen pulled that from," he lied.

Miles didn't believe him- in fact, Tristan was a terrible liar but he remained silent.

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Sunday they decided to see a movie. They held hands the entire time and even made out a little toward the end after all of the good stuff had already happened.

They walked out of the movie and were discussing what else they could do with their day.

"Want to just go back to my place?" asked Miles. "My parents left early this morning and will be gone the entire week. Apparently this is some last-ditch effort to get votes for the election..."

"Sure, why not?"

Once they reached the Hollingsworth mansion, rather than go to the living room like they usually did Miles suggested they go into his room.

Tristan had only been in his room one other time and it was very brief.

Miles' room was three times the size as Tristan's.

Miles suddenly graced his floor and began doing sit-ups.

"_Really_?" asked Tristan with a laugh. "Is this supposed to impress me to the point where I just fall to my knees like a damsel who can't handle herself? Or...am I supposed to melt into a puddle and be completely worthless?"

Miles laughed.

"Well, it is supposed to impress you...but whichever action you choose is up to you."

"Hmm," began Tristan, placing a finger on his chin. "I may need time to think about that one. Fall to my knees or melt?"

"So..." began Miles.

"So..."

"Want to make out?"

"How could I have ever guessed?"

"You know," began Miles, as he gave up on the sit-ups and collapsed onto his back. "I did have alterior motives for being on the floor..."

"Oh yeah?"

Before Miles could explain he grabbed Tristan by the ankle and pulled him down so that he was on top of him.

"Whoa- _Miles_!"

Tristan always loved it when Miles was on top of him, taking control and setting the intensity and pacing of their kissing- he had never been on top before and he wasn't sure how to initiate things.

"Well?" prodded Miles. "Are you going to kiss me or what?"

Tristan pressed his lips against Miles' and wasn't sure of what to do with his hands so he clumsily moved them from his hair to his face and back up to his hair again.

Suddenly Miles flipped Tristan over so that he was back on top. He then grabbed Tristan's wrists and slammed them down above his head. Tristan wriggled his hands but Miles' grip was impossibly strong. He felt his cock twitch with excitement.

Tristan gasped as his heart began to pound even faster than it already had been. At this rate, Tristan was growing dangerously close to experiencing his _second _heart attack.

"If you don't like anything that I'm doing, Tris...just ask me to stop and I will. Okay?"

Tristan nodded.

Without releasing Tristan's wrists, Miles began kissing his neck- nipping at his ear lobes- teasing him in every which way possible- including getting so close to his mouth and hovering above his lips with his own- without ever kissing him. Tristan was going crazy. He wanted to kiss him- to touch him! But he couldn't do anything with Miles holding him down.

"Oh my god, Miles...you are getting me so hot!"

"I know," the brunette replied with a smirk. "This is fun...maybe you can have your way with me next."

After minutes of endlessly torturing Tristan with his cruel seduction gimicks Miles finally met the blonde's long awaiting lips with a hard kiss. His tongue immediately invaded and after a few more minutes- and both boys being rock hard- Miles released Tristan and they quickly undid their pants.

"Are we ready for this?" asked Tristan, biting his lip.

"I'm ready...are you?"

Tristan responded by throwing his arms around Miles' neck and they both toppled to the floor. They continued kissing ferociously, completely taken by the current of their rampant, out of control hormones. The aroma of testosterone filled the air as the two horny boys went about devouring each other's naked bodies- exploring every crevice of naked flesh. _Biting- sucking- licking_.

It was so hot- figuratively and literally. Both boys were dripping in sweat and while normally Tristan would be entirely grossed out, this was sexy sweat. This was pre sex sweat just as there would be post sex sweat. All of which was totally okay with Tristan. Maybe they could even shower together afterward?

"Are we sure, Tris?" asked Miles one final time.

"Just fuck me, Miles!"

000000

Tristan and Miles finally had sex. And it was so hot and amazing and only made Tristan regret giving himself up to Grant. If he had only waited this could have been his first time, which would have made it even more special than it already was.

"_Wow_," replied Tristan.

"I'd say we need a shower after all that."

Tristan's wish for them to shower together came true.

And of course there was more kissing and groping in the shower. The two boys could not keep their hands off of each other if they tried.

They spent the entire rest of the day vegging out on the couch- cuddling and watching t.v. Tristan's head was against Miles' chest and he looked up at him. He couldn't believe they were actually a couple. He had fallen for Miles _hard_ in Paris but never imagined he could actually _have_ him.

Since he had spent all day with Miles he had to fake a stomach ache to avoid eating. Miles seemingly bought it and didn't pester Tristan about not eating.

Soon enough it was beginning to get dark outside and Tristan's mom had been calling and texting him for the past hour- all of which he had ignored.

"I better go...my mom is already freaking out. I had a great time today...in fact, this entire weekend has been amazing. I wish it could always be like this..."

"Why can't it be?" asked Miles.

Tristan was about to answer but his phone rang.

"Mom I'm leaving- I'm coming home right now."

Tristan hung up.

"She's pissed. I have to go...see you tomorrow."

Tristan gave Miles a quick peck on the lips and was gone.

000000

Monday morning Tristan scanned the parking lot for Miles' car and didn't see it. He must have been running late- either that or he decided to skip again.

It was lunch time and after missing all of his morning classes Miles was still a no show.

Tristan pulled out his phone. No new messages.

He sighed and began to text his boyfriend.

Miles whr r u? If u keep skippng u r gonna b xpelled!

Miles? Y r u ignorng me?

The final bell rang and Tristan quickly made his way out.

When he arrived home he was surprised to see that Owen was still there and hadn't left early that morning as he planned to do.

"Don't you have to get back to school?"

"I'm going back tomorrow. I've already smoothed it out with my Professors. We still haven't had that talk, Tris."

"What talk? I don't need a talk."

An icy chill fell over the kitchen as both Milligan brothers had a stare down.

Tristan wasn't in the mood. He was irritable and pissed off at his boyfriend. He just wanted to go up to his room and go to sleep.

"Why haven't you been eating?" hounded Owen. "How much weight have you lost?"

"Umm I am eating and_ I don't know_...mom and dad took the scales out of the house. Remember?"

"Tris- I'm worried about you, man. I don't want a repeat of what happened last year. You had a _heart attack_. This is _serious_. If you were to have another one it could kill you."

"Owen- just leave me alone, okay? I'm not in the mood."

Tristan pushed past his brother who grabbed him tightly by the wrist and forced him down into a chair.

"You better get in the mood otherwise I can bring mom and dad into this. And I know you don't want that."

"You want me to eat? _Fine. I'll eat,_" hissed Tristan. "Go on. I'll sit here willingly while you force food down my throat."

"I don't mean like this, Tris- I want you to _want_ to eat- I need you to want to eat."

"Why would I want to eat, Owen?!" shouted Tristan. "Don't you get it? _**Eating**_ makes you _**fat**_- _**fat**_ makes you _**gross**_- _**gross**_ makes you _**undesirable**_- _**undesirable**_ means you're _**ALONE**_! I've finally found someone who I lo-" he paused.

"Well, who I think I love and who likes me a lot. I am NOT going to destroy the relationship with the one person who likes me by subjecting myself to YOUR or anyone else's demands! This is my body, _damn it_ and I will not have you ruin it!"

Owen stood- speechless. His mouth fell open as he stared at his brother- his expression quickly subsided from anger to worry.

"Tris- _this is not good_...you're getting _weird_ with this again..."

"Leave me alone, Owen. You never cared before...you couldn't even stand to be around me. Now when I need you to stay out of my life you refuse! Why?"

"You're my little bro. I'm not going to leave until mom and dad know what is going on with you."

"If you tell them I swear to god, Owen-"

"_What_? _What _Tris? You going to punch me? Never talk to me again? Disown me? Let me tell you something little brother- none of those things mean a _fuck_ to me because I'd rather have you threaten and even follow through with ANY of those things than to have you _DEAD_!"

It was Tristan's turn to sit speechless. Owen was really pissed. Pissed because he cared about him so much and wasn't going to let Tristan continue to kill himself.

He could feel tears begin to well up in his eyes.

"_Owen_-" he choked out. "I don't even know when this all happened- it just kind of started again out of nowhere...I've been stressed out. Miles and I broke up not that long ago and I was destroyed. I just- I don't want to go back to the hosptital. I don't want to be sick-"

"Tris- shhh-" interrupted Owen. "Just shut up. It's going to be okay. I promise."

Tristan nodded through his tears as Owen came over and began to massage his shoulders.

"It'll be hard but we are going to talk to mom and dad when they get home and get this sorted out, okay?"

Tristan nodded.

He was so caught up in his emotions and his conversation with Owen that he didn't even have time to think about the fact that Miles still hadn't made any attempt to contact him.

000000

The next day at school Miles walked into the building- shades on, fashionably late.

He immediately spotted his boyfriend and jogged over to him.

"Tris!" he called out.

"Don't talk to me, Miles."

"Tris- I'm sorry...I had another fight with my dad and I just...didn't feel like talking to anyone."

"Oh..._that's funny_-" hissed Tristan, "because I'm pretty sure on Saturday you sent me multiple texts about needing me after you had a fight with your dad. Which is it, Miles? Either you want me or you don't! I'm done playing your games."

"There are no games, Tristan..."

"_Right_," snapped the blonde. "So we have sex for the first time Sunday and then Monday follows and I hear nothing from you. Not one damn word, Miles! I mean- I thought that us having sex for the first time was special and kind of a big deal but apparently you don't feel the same. Go fuck yourself, Miles. We're done."

"Tris-"

He turned to walk away from Miles but he found himself on the floor instead, with Miles hovering over him- both arms grasping on to Tristan's, just below his elbows.

"Whoa- Tristan. Are you okay? You just fainted."

"_I'm_ _fine_."

"Let me walk you to class," offered Miles.

"NO."

Miles frowned and took a step back.

"I'm over it, Miles. Over you. Over _this_..." he paused. "_This_ vicious cycle of torture you put me through each day. I mean- one minute I'm totally head over heels for you and the next minute I can't stand to look at your face. One minute you're kissing me with everything you have and the next you are ignoring me- I can't keep doing this, Miles! It is killing me!"

Miles stood silently. Watching his boyfriend with a dark gaze.

"I warned you, Tris. I told you- _I'm a bad dude_..."

"I'm so sick of your excuses- your meaningless, bullshit facade of _'poor little rich boy who's daddy is mean to him' _so you can push people away. You want to push me away? You got your wish. I will gladly move aside so you can crawl back to Maya or whatever other poor girl you wish to _infect_ your poison with. Go ahead. I won't stop you."

"Tris- it isn't like that-"

"_Of course not_...good luck trying to convince me otherwise."

000000

The evening came and went and Tristan, along with Owen and his parents all discussed Tristan's rebudding eating disorder more in depth- which had crept up so quickly and unexpectedly that no one had really noticed- except for Owen that is.

They bargained with Tristan to see a therapist and to attend an outpatient eating disorder support group- otherwise he would be admitted to the hospital against his will. They also told him that if he continued to skip meals and go crazy with exercise that he would lose priviledges such as his phone, time with friends, facerange, his t.v. and so on.

There was a knock on the door.

Tristan had a feeling it might be Miles trying to win him back.

"If it's Miles tell him I'm not home."

Owen answered the door.

"Tristan doesn't want to see you-"

Tristan turned and glared at his brother.

"I told you to tell him I wasn't home!"

"Tristan?" Miles glanced around Owen so he could see him. "Please...can we talk?"

"I have nothing to say to you, Miles."

"You heard him," replied Owen threateningly.

Tristan went up to his room and Owen attempted to close the door but Miles held it open.

"Owen...I need you to let me in. I have to talk to Tristan."

"Then you can text him or facerange him. Although I feel like he won't answer. You've done enough damage as it is- just leave Tristan alone."

Miles slumped in defeat and was about to walk away.

"Owen- at least please tell me what you meant on Saturday? About Tristan being in the hospital...and why you made such a big deal about him not eating. I asked him about it but he was very vague."

Owen stared at Miles like a hawk about to swoop down on it's unsuspecting prey. He wasn't the best judge of character but he knew how much Tristan cared about him- and maybe, just maybe this kid cared just the same about his brother. There was only one way to know.

Owen sighed.

"Tristan has an eating disorder...he went on some stupid diet cleanse last year- lost a bunch of weight too fast and got sick."

Miles' eyes widened.

It all made sense now. Tristan never wanting to eat or having an excuse or simply not even caring to come up with one. The guilt began to set in. How could Miles not have seen? How could he have not caught on sooner? He felt awful. He was so wrapped up in his own drama and his own emotions that he couldn't see his own boyfriend's suffering directly in front of him.

"Oh wow...I mean, he looked like he had lost a little bit of weight recently but I didn't even consider that this could be why..."

Owen clenched his jaw.

"He needs support not _heartbreak_..."

Miles nodded and felt his own heart begin to grow heavy with burden and guilt.

"Why was he in the hospital? He told me it wasn't related to any of this..."

"He had a heart attack."

"_What?" _uttered Miles, barely able to get the words out. "_A heart attack_? But we're fifteen years old...we don't have heart attacks."

"Tristan did," replied Owen. "He was starving himself and exercising like a maniac and it became too much on his heart- he's lucky he didn't do any permanent damage. He's lucky it didn't _kill_ him."

Miles stared down at the floor in a daze- he was in complete disbelief.

He definitely felt worthy of the worst boyfriend ever award- which he had been awarded many other times before. This was different though, he cared what Tristan thought about him and he wanted to support Tristan just as he had for him. Things felt different with Tristan. He could always be himself. He was always happy and he always wanted more. He never got bored and even though he had tried (and attempted) to push Tristan away multiple times he finally saw that Tristan was just as damaged as he was- Tristan had always come back and Miles didn't deserve for him to.

Tristan was prepared to be in it for the long-haul. They finally had sex! Miles lost his virginity to him and it was amazing and Miles wanted to have sex with him every. single. day. He wanted to make out with him instead of go to class, have movie marathons, make out some more and spend every single second with him because he felt good when he was around him. And he liked feeling good- no, he _loved_ feeling good. He didn't give a fuck what anyone else thought.

Miles had to admit- it was still weird (but good weird)- that the one occupying all of his time- the one always on his mind- the one making him smile stupidly for no reason- the one he kissed and made love to for the first time..._was a guy_. He never expected to be with a guy- he had dated so many girls that he never even had time to consider that he could ever develop feelings for a guy- until Tristan came along. It felt so _natural_ and _right_ that he didn't have time to be _scared_ or to feel like it was _wrong_.

"Owen-" began Miles, his eyes pleading. "If Tristan asks me to leave I swear I will go without any trouble. Please?"

Owen cracked his knuckles menacingly right in the other boy's face.

"_Fine_. But if you so much as hurt my brother in any way- present or future- I will beat the shit out of you- and then I will-"

"I get it," replied Miles.

Owen slowly stepped aside so Miles could enter.

000000

Miles knocked on Tristan's door.

"Go away, Owen!"

Miles opened the door slowly and stuck his head inside.

"Oh- it's you. The _last person_ I want to see-"

"Tris, I already told your brother if you want me to leave, I will-"

"I want you to leave."

"You won't even hear me out for a minute?"

"Tell me, Miles- exactly why you think you deserve a minute of my time?"

"I'm so sorry Tris," began Miles. "I've been a complete asshole. I've been selfish- and mean and unreasonable and all kinds of other horrible things...I don't deserve you, Tris. I've known this since we first met. I don't deserve you- but I _want_ you..._so bad_."

"Go on..." replied Tristan. "I'm listening."

"All of this fighting with my dad- it sucks, Tris. Really bad...my dad and I have never seen eye to eye. I feel like he fucking hates me- I know he's ashamed and embarrassed by me- he tells me everyday. Ironic since I'm the one named after him. My point is this is no excuse for me to treat you like garbage- just like my dad. I hate being compared to him- I hate the fact that I'm no different than him. I hate that it makes me unable to have a normal connection to anyone..."

"That isn't true-"

Miles looked up.

"We have a connection...at least, I think we do. I feel it everytime we are together, Miles. Tell me you feel it too?"

"Of course," whispered Miles. "I can't get enough of you."

"So then why do you do all of this shit? Why do you push me away so hard. Why do you ignore me? Why do you do these awful things?"

"I won't anymore, Tris. I can't- I can't lose you."

"This is your _last chance_- Miles Hollingsworth. So _don't _fuck it up."

Miles smiled and sat down on his boyfriend's bed, planting a kiss on his forehead.

"Thank god- I honestly thought I lost you for good, Tris."

"I'm glad you were scared you did."

"Why?"

"It shows me that you had something to lose- that this isn't all meaningless- or about Maya- or about your dad. It is about _me_..._us_...and that what we have is special enough that you can't afford to lose it- no matter what that dumb brain of yours is telling you."

"Oh ouch."

"Just kidding. We all know that you, Miles Hollingsworth are very intelligent...although, not quite as intelligent as _moi_."

"Real cute, Tris...now that we got this out of the way...there is something else we need to talk about. Owen told me _everything_."

Tristan swallowed the lump that formed in his throat.

"He did?"

Miles nodded.

"Why didn't you ever tell me, Tris? I hate that you would do this to yourself...starve yourself..._why_?"

"It's complicated..."

"Tell me."

"It was so stupid- the first time I just...I wanted this part in a play but wasn't in shape enough to partake and there was _this boy_- Fab, who I wanted to notice me...I was tired of being invisible. I was tired of being undesirable."

Tristan sighed and looked away.

"I could never imagine you being undesirable, Tristan..."

"That's sweet," began Tristan as he smiled sadly, gazing into his boyfriend's eyes. "But you didn't know me then- I was _fat_. I was _gross_ and totally _undesirable_."

Miles watched Tristan, his eyes flashing.

"That may be how you see it- but I like you for who you are- you are amazing, Tris. I like you now and I'm sure I would have liked you _then,_" the brunette paused."You're everything I could ever want. How can you not see that?"

Tristan thought for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Miles. I should have been honest with you about this...I just didn't want you to think I was _weak_...which I am."

Miles shook his head.

"Far from it- you are the strongest person I know. I wouldn't date someone who was weak."

Tristan smiled and grabbed Miles' hand, giving it a quick squeeze.

Miles in turn grabbed Tristan and pulled him into a tight hug.

Tristan embraced him and placed his head on Miles' shoulder.

"So are we done with this whole love/hate relationship thing? I'm getting tired of it," replied Tristan.

"I'm all in," replied Miles. "I'm such an idiot for not noticing- for being too wrapped up in my own issues to see what was going on with you. I'm so sorry, Tris. You needed me and I wasn't there for you."

"It's okay...at least now you see."

"_I do_," stated Miles. "And now there isn't going to be anymore skipping meals or crazy cleanse diets. I will do _whatever it takes_ to keep you healthy."

"Whatever it takes, eh?"

"Shut up," replied Miles as he slugged his boyfriend playfully, which soon turned into him on top of the blonde tickling him.

"Miles. Get off me. Now!"

Owen burst into Tristan's room in two seconds flat after he heard his brother yelling.

"Don't worry, Owen. We're fine...Miles won't stop-"

Owen made obnoxiously loud kissing noises and slammed the door.

"Let's go grab something to eat?" Miles suggested. "And don't worry, we'll start slow. We can share something- anything you want and you can just nibble on it and then later maybe you can _nibble on me_."

Tristan grinned so wide he thought his face would break.

"_Maybe_? As if that isn't going to happen anyway!"

_**Author's Note: **_I'm definitely late on board with the **Triles** ship but I love these two together!

I know this fic was super cheesy but I just had to write something involving them- especially with this whole mess of a break-up we experienced on the show.

Here's to hoping they quickly reconcile by the second half of season 14!

Love? Hate? Cheers? Flames?

Let me know-

Read & Review please!** :)**


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